


Lovers, Friends, Things (Or the one where they just dont know)

by Skipz12



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F, also slightly smutty, barely there appearances from the USWNT, small appearances from Kelley & Hope
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-12
Updated: 2015-09-12
Packaged: 2018-04-20 08:09:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4780076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skipz12/pseuds/Skipz12
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Julie can clearly remember the 10 times she slept with Christen that made all the difference.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lovers, Friends, Things (Or the one where they just dont know)

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own or claim ownership of these real ass people. I'm just a fangirl in her feels.
> 
> Oh jeez, I don't know how this happened, but what I do know, is that it wasn't supposed to go this far. I'm not all the way sold on this story but I hope y'all like it.
> 
> Cinnamon Rollsssss
> 
> Also: I write a tiny (the tiniest) AU-ish in terms of Christen because I have a certain head canon about the girl, that Im not sure fits with the fandom, or maybe it does, I dont know, but thats about it.

Lovers, Friends, Things

(Or the one where they just don't know)

 

 

  1. **The first time it happens, they almost get caught** ( _and it doesn’t really count_ ).



The Red Stars had clenched the win in the finals against Washington and Julie is on cloud nine. She’s hugging and celebrating with everyone and everything in sight. Chups embraces her hard and lets her go with a toothy grin and she turns bumping straight into Christen. The forward envelops her in a tight hug and whispers a breathy “Congratulations” in her ear. Arms thrown around her neck, green eyes sparkling, and bodies pressed so close together they practically make one person.

And just like that Julie can’t take it anymore, can’t take the way Christens skin glows. Can’t take the way they’ve seem to be lumped together at almost every event since Canada. Can’t take the way they’ve somehow become a “we” or an “us” when spoken to without even noticing. So she drags Christen out of the locker room away from their team and the celebration. She can hear the older girl speaking confused protests and questions but she ignores them all and keeps pulling the girl along until they reach a deserted bathroom. She’s practically kicking open every stall until she’s absolutely sure they’re alone, before she turns back to her teammate.

Christen stands with confusion and concern schooling her features and Julie feels her confidence falter a bit, but she stands strong, determination in her bones. She pushes towards the girl and sees surprise begin to color Christens face and she doesn’t stop until she’s so close to the forward that she can feel the girl’s breath tickle her nose. She’s wanted this for a while now and hopes to god this isn’t one sided. When she presses her lips firm and steady onto Christens she feels the forwards entire body freeze.

She couldn’t have kissed her for more than a couple of seconds, but Julie is sure the entire world has stopped. She pulls back just enough to see Christens eyes flutter open into view through those impossibly long eyelashes. She waits for Christen to do something, say something, push her away or just anything, but the girl stays complacent. So she works up the nerve to break the silence.

“If you want me to stop, say it. Say it and I’ll walk away and we can pretend this never happened, blame it on the adrenaline or the champagne, whatever…” Her voice is barely above a whisper, her and Christen still barely centimeters apart. Still though, the forward says nothing.

She feels the panic and embarrassment filling her lungs like water and she suddenly can’t breathe, so she backs up. She’s ready to turn on her heel and promptly disappear forever when she feels a soft hand cup her jaw pulling her back in. Before she can even register what’s happening, Christens mouth is back on hers in a forceful kiss.

And it’s when Christen opens her mouth slightly catching Julie’s bottom lip in hers that the floodgates are open.

Julie wastes no time bringing her hands to grip Christens hips underneath the edges of her jersey, reveling in the warm smooth skin she finds there. She backs the girl up until she feels them bump the edge of the bathroom sink. She runs her hands down lean thighs and hooks them under the other girl hoisting her up onto the counter. Their lips moving slick and heavy across each other in a deep kiss and Julie moans when Christens teeth find her bottom lip and tugs. A biter, she stores that little nugget away for later and she lets her tongue slip into the tan girls open mouth and licks sensually across the roof of it. The small hitch of breath Julie hears from the other girl only sends a shot of lust right to her core and she needs more now. She slips her hands back under Christens jersey and further up letting her nails lightly scratch over taut abdominal muscles before gently settling over the girl’s breast through her sports bra. She gives a light squeeze and feels Christen pull her closer. The added sensation of Julie’s hands on her chest seem to fan the flame with Christen as well and Julies glad that the other girl feels just as desperate for this as she does. Christen lightly shoves her back before snatching the edges of Julie’s jersey and pulling it up. She brings her hands up to comply and the forward has just barely got it off before Julie is back on her. Christen separates from the kiss and sets her focus on Julies neck, licking from the hollow of her throat to the underside of her jaw before stopping to lightly suck on her pulse.

She can’t think straight, not with Christen alternating between licking and sucking one of her most sensitive spots. Her breathings getting labored, all she can focus on is how much she wants to rip that jersey and those shorts off the girl and fuck her til they _both_ can’t stand for the rest of the week. She’s about to drop to her knees and show what going to a small private college with all girl dorms can teach you until-

“PRESSSSSSSS! Yo Press where are you!?”

Julie snaps apart from the girl in a panic as they hear footsteps approaching. It’s like a bullet through the haze, they were on the verge of fucking in the staff bathroom at the Toyota Center like their entire team wasn’t down the hall celebrating the clubs first championship title. Julie snatches up her discarded jersey managing to throw it on just as the door opens to the right of them. KK and Tancredi waltz into the room and Julie is hyper aware that Christen is still perched on the sink counter, jersey bunched a bit and that she’s probably breathing heavy and a couple of shades redder than normal, damn her fair skin. KK and Tanc both look equally confused but Karina of course voices it first.

“Hey…we were looking for you guys, what are you doing here?” it’s Tanc who decides to speak up next, eyes directly on Julie.

“What’s up with you JJ, you look flushed”

“I-I um yea It’s from…uh” She can’t figure out a way to fake through this for the life of her, so she turns her attention towards Christen. She’s surprised to see the girl looking completely calm and relaxed, legs swinging back and forth on the counter, like she just came in and took a seat and hadn’t just been in a heated make out with her defender. This alone might be fucking with her more than anything and she’s the tiniest bit put out considering Christen is just as awkward as her, if not more, so if anyone should be stammering and blushing with her its Press!

“Julie was feeling a little lightheaded so I brought her here so she could splash some water on her face, cool down. I’m thinking it’s just residuals from that tackle she took” The lie spills so effortless from Christens mouth Julie herself almost believes it. She was on the receiving end of a hard tackle that put a knee in her ribs and snatched the breath right out of her lungs. It had hurt like hell but the pain was all but imaginary by the time the final whistle blew. Still she was impressed by how logical an excuse it sounded. Tanc and KK seem to buy it, even though she sees the way Tanc’s eyes flit between the two of them just a bit longer than necessary.

“Okay well if you’re feeling better were heading to the hotel to change and go out to celebrate, so hurry up” and with that KK leaves, Tanc following close behind.

With the room clear and the previous sexual energy dampened Julie feels a little nervous when she turns back to her teammate. Christen looks at her with a smile though, hops off the counter and heads to the door.

“We should go” Julie lets out a sigh and comes to follow, the mood completely shot, sexually frustrated and nervous because she didn’t think this far and now has no idea what this means for them. Before she makes it to the door though Christen stops with her hand on the knob and looks back.

“See if Huerta will switch rooms with you tonight?” and with that Christen pushes her way through the door back to the team. Julie can feel her whole body hum with excitement, she may not know what this means long term but if the darkness in Press’s eyes mean anything, it’s that tonight will be its own celebration.

Hopefully Huerta’s down to switch.

 

* * *

 

 **II. The next time it happens, it’s because Huerta switched** ( _thank god_ ).

Julie barely has time to pat herself on the back for making it happen. Spitting some ridiculous lie to Sofia about her and Christen being halfway through Narcos on Netflix and desperately wanting to finish. She half thought Huerta would call her out on it or want to join in but the exhaustion on her face was evidence that she wanted to crash the second she got back, so she switches keys cards with Julie absentmindedly. Which is why Julie finds herself pushed into the comforter, Christen on top of her resuming right where she left off, lips on her pulse driving Julie insane. Both of their shirts and bras are on the floor, discarded the moment Julie walked in, leaving her in tight jeans and Christen in these short little black denim cutoffs that distracted Julie all night.

She lifts her body in a sitting position taking Christen with her, pushing the forward further in her lap and she nearly loses it right then and there when Press grinds her hips into Julies. Their lips find each other in a passionate kiss and she’s taken aback by how amazing of a kisser Press is, like is there anything this girl can’t do. She flips their positions putting Christen on her back and stops to just admire the older girl for a second. Her light caramel skin tone, long brown hair mused on the pillow, and of course those gorgeous green eyes. She’s so fucking pretty and Julie can’t believe she’s about to get this lucky. She leans forwards to press a light kiss to the girl’s lips before pressing feather kisses down the girl’s throat and chest. She stops to wrap her lips around the girl’s nipple and the moan she receives is reward enough. She takes her time with one before giving similar attention to the other and shifts her body lower leaving sucking kisses and licks to the other girl’s abs, that leave Press squirming and panting.

Julies done this twice before, gone down on a girl, both with the same roommate her junior year in college. She was surprised at how much she enjoyed doing it. The entire act, looking up and seeing her partner squirm and twist from pleasure, holding them down, hearing them screaming her name when she did something particularly nice. Even though she’s gets labeled a leader she’s never really been the controlling type, much prefers to go with the flow and be easy but something about sex brings out a dormant dominance within her she’s discovered. Even with guys she’s always preferred to be on top, and she thinks having that much control over someone in such a vulnerable state really gets her off. Whatever that says about her, she doesn’t much care to read into it.

Christens hips buck up the slightest bit while Julie swirls her tongue around her navel and the action brings her back to focus. She brings her hands to unbutton the girl’s shorts and looks up silently asking for permission, Christen smiles and urges her on with a nod of her head. Julie tries not to think about the fact that Christen has showed absolutely no hesitation at any point of this since they left the restaurant, which might mean this isn’t her first time hooking up with a girl. She makes a mental note to inquire about that later but for now she peels the shorts and underwear off the girl and sets to go to work. It takes no time at all to have Christen writhing and asking for more, one hand gripping the sheet, the other buried in her blonde hair. She’s only a few licks in and can feel the forwards hips rising seeking more, so she wraps her arms around the girls stomach keeping her down and steady.

“F-Fuck, keep going” Christen moans, heavy and breathy “Don’t stop”

It’s barely noticed but hearing the normally reserved girl swear, and her hoarse pleads is the sexiest thing Julie thinks she’s ever heard. It takes all her willpower to not stop what she’s doing and focus on getting herself off, although it wouldn’t take more than a touch now to send her over the edge, she’s so turned on. Christens grip on her hair tightens and she loves it, she takes to spelling her name with her tongue and she feels the other girl moan louder at that, she knows she’s getting close. She can hear her moaning small curses into the air and though she’s by no means a screamer, Julies glad that the walls of this hotel are thick and soundproof. She reaches her own hand away from Christen and down her front into her jeans because she honest to god can’t take this anymore, she has to get off. Christen is so close and all it takes is a hard broad stroke to the girls clit with a flat tongue to send the girl over the edge.

“FUCK Julie! Oh my god fucccckkkk” and that’s all it takes to push Julie over as well, she sees stars behind her eyelids and gasps as the ecstasy washes over her in waves.

Julie pulls back and for a second all she can hear are her and Christens breaths coming out in pants as they both try to calm down from the force of their orgasms. Christen suddenly sits up at the edge of the bed and lifts Julies face to hers in a passionate kiss. Julie can still taste Christen on her tongue and the whole moment is intoxicating and makes her head spin. They break apart and rest their foreheads on each other, just taking each other in before Christen glances down.

She pulls away with a smile on her face. “Did you already come on your own?”

Julie looks away sheepish, turning red. “Well, yea.”

Christen bust out laughing throwing her head back as Julie gets up. Christen backs up to the top of the bed throwing the sheets over herself still laughing. Julie plops onto the bed next to her and begins laughing herself, extremely grateful that there doesn’t seem to be any post sex awkwardness between them happening.

“I got you off and didn’t have to do a thing, I’m kinda disappointed, didn’t even get you out of your jeans” Christen looks at her with an easy smile on her face and Julie looks down and realizes that she indeed still has her tight jeans on and strips them off in favor of just her small boy shorts and slips beneath the sheets looking at the forward.

“Well sorry, maybe next time you’ll move fast enough to get me out of my clothes first” She looks back at Christen who looks back at her with a smile but eyes full of mischief.

“Next time.” and Julie’s feels her body heat up at the thought that their might actually be a next time to look forward to. She’s so content and her brain is still a bit muddled which is probably why she just brings up the topic in the back of her mind.

“I’m not the first girl you’ve been with am I?” Christen looks at her surprised before she lets out a small chuckle.

“No, you’re not”

And maybe it’s the casualness in which she says it or how she’s not the least bit affected about being eaten out by a girl at 1 am in the morning but Julie’s brain works on autopilot and she can’t stop from asking. “How many people have you been with?”

It’s kind of a rude question if she thinks about it and Christen is in no way obligated to answer that but she can’t help her curiosity. There was a certain image and perception she had about the girl and tonight had put some cracks in it. She didn’t fool herself into thinking the older girl was a virgin or anything like that, but she’s so innocent and sweet all the time, she’s just trying to compute this new info. Her ambush in the bathroom was mostly made up of adrenaline, champagne, lust, and a prayer that Christen might be into it. She didn’t even know if the forward was into girls although she lightly suspected it after Canada, she’d seen the shy forwards eyes linger on Syd one too many times to be ignored.

She waits as Christen looks at her and the expression on her face looks torn as if she’s contemplating whether or not to tell her. It makes her feel dumb for even bringing it up and she’s about to apologize and give the girl an out when she speaks up.

“5 girls and 3 guys”

Julie tries to school her reactions but she’s sure that Christen has got to see at least some trace of shock on her face so she turns on her back to look up at the ceiling. That little more than doubles her own number and yea she know that Press is a little bit older than her but still! She doesn’t want to look like she’s judging her because she’s definitely not, she’s just surprised. Her mouth opens and she struggles with something to say before simply landing on “Oh.”

And she feels incredibly stupid for that and panics because she’s just fucked the entire good vibe up and Christen probably thinks she’s a bitch for judging her and now she’s gotta explain herself. She turns back to Christen her apology already on her lips, but it dies out of her. Christens eyes are closed and she’s breathing softly and Julie realizes the girls asleep. She’s not sure how long she was turned around having her mini freak out but apparently it was long enough to let the exhaustion of the game, the win, the celebration, and the sex catch up with her teammate. Julie breathes a sigh of relief and snuggles deeper into the soft sheets, maybe this will teach her to let a good thing lie and stop opening her big mouth.

 

* * *

  
**III. The 3 rd time it happens, Julie feels like she has something to prove **( _that she doesn’t get to prove at all_ ).

Which is admittedly stupid because she knows it’s not a competition, but 5 girls and 3 guys!? It’s been eating at Julie’s subconscious and well, regular conscious for a week now. She’s back home now that the NWSL season is officially over and they have some time for break before it’s all about Rio 2016. Her folks recently moved to California so she’s not quite used to calling this home despite her 4 years at Santa Clara, but it does have one upside. Christen lives about an hour away and Julie plans to take advantage of that, she’s just not sure how.

She ends up going with a straight forward, albeit sneaky approach calling Christen and asking if she would like to spend the weekend at her place. She had bought her parents an all-expense paid trip to the Bahamas after the World Cup for their anniversary and they couldn’t have picked a better time to cash in. Plus she still doesn’t know all the good spots in Cali like Christen does and she says as much when she invites her up for Friday promising some movies and wine before they hit the beach the next day. She’s slightly grossed out with herself because she’s pulling a very “Netflix and chill” move here but she needed something. Her recklessness had dwindled since Chicago, so she wasn’t quite ready to lead with “Hey come over so I can bang the last 8 people right out of your system!”

Even though that’s exactly what she planned to do.

For now though she’s reduced to Frat boy tactics to get what she wants. She still wasn’t sure what it was about Christens confession that made her so territorial. Maybe it was that desire to be the dominant one during sex is suddenly compromised if Christen has that much more experience on her. She was now questioning whether her performance at the hotel was even worth another thought, the girl had seemed into it at the time but now she’s just not sure. She feels like she’s suddenly inhibited by the spirit of Alex Morgan, she didn’t used to be so damn competitive.

Christen shows up about a quarter to 8, when the sky is just starting to darken and Julie’s breath hitches when she sees the girl in tight ripped black jeans, a nicely fitted white tank, boots, and her long wavy hair framing her face. Honestly she swears Chris has never not been gorgeous a day in her life, and her fashion sense is so nice. She’s also holding two bags of in-n-out, and Julie rolls her eyes because she’s such a California girl.

“All right so I got us double doubles and animal style fries hope that’s all right?” Christen moved to set the food on the kitchen island.

“Its fine” Julie watches her take food out of the bag and scrolls through the Netflix on her Xbox to find something. The plan was to find something slow and minimally boring so that she could begin to distract the girl into activities a little more adult.

Yea, she’s definitely a Frat boy.

“What are we watching?” Chris sets a plate of food in front of her and sees Julie went ahead and poured two glasses of Stella before she arrived.

“This new doccu series looks cool ‘Chefs Table’ let’s check this out” If Christen is surprised or suspicious of her choice she doesn’t show it.

“Cool” the forwards already taking a bite of her burger settling into the leather seats, and Julie thinks this might work out smoothly for her after all.

It totally backfires.

Turns out to her surprise and much to her disappointment, Christen is a total foodie. So it’s 2 hours in and they finished their burgers an hour and a half ago but Christen is so deeply invested in this whole “eat, pray, love” journey of an Italian chef in Napoli that Julie is all but forgotten next to her. And in hindsight it was probably wasn’t the smartest decision to choose a series based on inner awakening and inspiration through food and travel, to a girl who practices Vedic meditation and climbs mountains in Sweden for spiritual balance. Julie is nowhere near immature or rude enough to try and start something when the other girl was so clearly enjoying herself, so she sits back with a sigh, sips her wine and reluctantly admits that the “broken lemon meringue” looks delicious, but there’s no way in hell she’d ever pay 40$ for it.

It’s nearly midnight and Julie wonders if she slipped in a coma and died, if Christen would even notice. They’ve binge watched 4 of these episodes now and she wishes she actually did put on Narcos because at least that’s something she’d wanted to see. She’s about to get up and wash the dishes when Christen turns to her. The look on the girls face makes it clear that she’s trying very hard not to crack up and Julies confused.

“I can’t believe it took you this long” Julie feels even more puzzled.

“What?”

Christen chuckles rising to her feet, she takes the wine glass and plate out of Julies hand and sets it back down on the table, before taking Julie’s lips in a searing kiss. Confused or not this is something Julie can get with, but before she can pull Christen in closer the girl pulls away leaving Julie to lightly chase for her lips.

“I can’t believe you sat and watched a food documentary for 4 hours and didn’t say anything” She’s so confused it’s ridiculous.

“You were enjoying it, why would I interup- wait!” Julie takes a big step back and the amusement on Christens face grows. “Are you messing with me right now?”

Christen brings her hand to her to her mouth trying to keep from breaking completely in front of the girl. “Of course I am” Chris steps forward to grab her shoulders. “You think I actually believed you really invited me to spend the weekend, so we could watch documentaries all night? I know I can be introverted but jeez I’m not naïve J”

Julie can do nothing but stare.

“I just wanted to see how long it took before you got fed up and I’m not gonna lie, I’m impressed by your chivalry. You’re such a gentleman” Christens teasing her, still snickering and JJ feels herself blush but also grin at the same time. She doesn’t get to stay in the moment however because suddenly she’s pushed back in the leather couch and she feels Christen settle on top of her.

“I think I made you wait long enough” and with a smile Christen is biting Julies bottom lip and tugging while her hand slips beneath the waist of Julies leggings and she can’t even get a word out before the sensation of Christens hand on her clit is already too much. “It’s my turn this time”

Julie reaches to cup Christens face and kisses her to keep from moaning embarrassingly loud because all of Chris’s experience is evident in the way her skilled fingers are dragging Julie all the way to edge and back in no time at all. When she slips two fingers in all the way Julie gasps and her hips rock forward and she knows this will be the second time Press gets her off without removing her clothes.

What a _fucking_ perfectionist.

Julie moves one of her hands inside Christens shirt, sliding it down until she meets the buttons of her jeans but Christen uses her free hand to pull it away and pin it behind her. At that she’s reminded how controlling Christen actually is, the girl is notoriously type A and its very rare that she just lets things happen. So she might have to say good bye to this dominant fantasy she’s been working on. Julie can feel it, she is so close to tumbling over that little white line of ecstasy she just needs a little more. She’s panting and moaning into Christens ear like she’s dying, her hips lifting and grinding to get that extra little push she needs. Christen can read her by the looks of it because she tips her chin up and places her lips right underneath her jaw, her sensitive spot. Chris bites down lightly on the soft flesh and Julie loses it riding her hand, gripping the forwards hips so tight she’s sure she’ll leave bruises under her fingertips.

“Jesus Christen FUCK!” Chris doesn’t respond just lightly soothes the bite with her tongue as Julie rides out the last waves of her orgasm. Christen gets up from on top of her and doesn’t let Julie even breathe before she’s pulling her along guiding her to the bedroom.

3 orgasms later (all of which belong to her) Julie is naked, breathless, and boneless and she thinks she might be post mortem experiencing heaven.

Well, not real heaven, like an Xbox demo version at best.

Christen got up and walked out the room a seconds ago while Julie was still partially blinded by pleasure but she’s back carrying two glasses of water when she returns. Julie turns her head, too tired to move and just gazes at the girl whose only missing clothing is her tank (which she took off herself somewhere after she came for a second time). She’s clad in a black bra, those ripped skin tight jeans, and her hair is mused in the sexiest way, a result of Julie gripping it for dear life, plus she’s smiling that big ol’ smile of hers.

Scratch her previous notion, she _is_ in heaven.

“Fuck” she breathes out because really is there any more to say?

“You should drink that” Press places the water on the bedside and Julie finally feels stable enough to sit up. She’s in no shape conceivable to give Christen her turn but she figures the older girl wasn’t looking for that tonight. She had blocked her every attempt to turn the tables, and she thought she got off on control.

“That was im _PRESS_ ive to say the least” She chuckles and Christen looks at her disbelieving.

“Please tell me you did not just pun my name”

“Please Chris I’m simply ex _PRESS_ ing how good that was for me. It’s pretty un _PRESS_ idented having that many orgasms in one go” and she’s being a total loser about it, but right now while her body is languid and lazy, she doesn’t really give a fuck. She’d carried around a Captain America pillow case sewn by her Gran all World Cup. She’s a dork, she accepts it. Christen peels the jeans off her long legs and crawls back into bed with Julie and gives her a small peck on the nose. “You’re ridiculous”

It’s a tad past 2am and they need to get some sleep if they plan to function at all the next day and hit the beach so they wrap up in the sheets facing each other.

“Seriously though that was amazing, must be all that experience” Christen lifts back up at that and Julie curses herself because it sounded worse than she meant.

“Is that bothering you? That I’ve been with that many people?” its soft spoken and Chris is really looking at her, searching her face for discomfort or anything close.

“No, no its not” Julie leans back on her elbows to look at the girl. “It just took me by surprise ya know. I didn’t expect that and I just wanted to do a bit more to make sure you really enjoyed yourself that’s it, not that I got the chance tonight” Julie breathes out a chuckle but Press still looks at her with concern.

“You were amazing Julie and I don’t want you to thi-“

“Trust me Christen, I’m not judging you or anything it was just surprising. I mean it’s been like what a year and a half with the Red stars? I’ve never seen, hell I’ve never even heard of you possibly being with someone and you’re so…” Julie struggles with the words being very conscious to not say anything that sounds demeaning or rude, Christens looking at her with a certain expectancy and Julie desperately doesn’t want this night (morning) to go negative.

“You’re just so nice and shy and vaguely innocent looking but then again clearly not, and I definitely don’t doubt that eight people, SHIT probably way, _way_ more than eight people would sleep with you, any gender” She’s rambling now, so she tried to get back on point. “and I don’t think having multiple partners is an issue or anything like that, I just was curious how or why or I don’t know”

She’s giving up because she doesn’t even know what she’s saying anymore but Christen is giving her a small smile when she looks back at her.

“I get it, I just don’t seem like the type” Christens looking at her softly, green eyes still slightly darker than normal and for a moment JJs worried that she hurt the older girl’s feelings.

“Chris I don’t mean it like-“

“Oh don’t worry I’m not being weird about it, I’m serious. I’m really not the type…It’s more of a stress thing” Julie scrunches her face in confusion. Christen flips on her back and exhales.

“I’ve only actually dated 2 of those people the rest were…relief” she slides back on her side looking at Julie again. “It started at Stanford Junior year, I just broke up with this girl I was seeing and finals were coming up which was hard with soccer and I was starting to feel overwhelmed. Putting way too much pressure on myself. You might have heard I didn’t use to be so good with stress back in the day.” Julie nods she had been there when Chris recorded her 23 story for the World Cup and she knew the girl had struggled immensely with pressure and confidence to a physically unhealthy degree.

“So I’m freaking out because it’s so much and I can’t handle it, then Kelly drags me to this basketball party or something and this girl from the team comes up to me and she’s flirting with me. I’m trying to find a way to brush her off or tell her I’m not interested, because there’s no way I can handle dating right now but then she asks if I want to go back to her dorm. I realize she doesn’t want to date me, she’s just looking for a quick hookup”

Julie stares back looking intently at the other girl trying to follow the trajectory of this story. “And normally I would never go for that because that’s not me and I’d never even really flirted with people I wasn’t interested in long term, but…” Christen pauses gazing in front of her like she’s reliving the whole thing. “I was so wound up and anxious, I felt like the world was on my shoulders crushing me, and I just wanted to feel good, even if it was only for a second. So I went. I had already been with a girl, my second relationship that year so I wasn’t like experimenting but it was the first time I ever had a one night stand.”

Christen turns her attention back to Julie and she smiles to let her know she’s listening, no judgement.

“It was a lot more heated than I was used to but I kind of liked it. The pace and adrenaline didn’t give me any time to think or be nervous and she made me feel so good, and after it was over it was like all the tension I’d been carrying for the past couple of months just drained out of me. The next day I wasn’t worried about anything, it was like my mind finally shut down for a bit and I was just able to relax and not worry. So it became my little thing whenever everything got to be too much. I didn’t have the time or the care for a relationship, so that’s what it was. And it became just a habit. The boy from the bookstore my senior year before the game that took us to the finals. The 2 girls in Sweden before the championship. The barista before my first game in Chicago and the guy right before the World Cup” Christens still looking at Julie gauging her reactions.

“I’m sorry I made you tell me that” it’s the only thing Julie can say, but she’s sort of reeling from the story. Never judge a book by its cover she thinks is s really fitting expression right now.

Christen smiles and chuckles. “It’s no big deal, It didn’t exactly work that well for me as far as the World Cups concerned so I think I’ll stick to my yoga from now on. Come on let’s get some sleep.” And with that Christen closes her eyes and Julie follows suit comfortable that she’s managed for a second time not to fuck up a night with Christen.

Before she fully falls asleep though it dawns on her that she still never got to prove her skill set to Christen but it also doesn’t feel as important anymore.

Fuck it. Next time.

 

* * *

  
**IV. The next time it happens. It just happens** ( _bright and early_ )

They had spent the entire next day on the beach, swimming, laughing, and playing. They had gone an ate dinner on the pier in Orange County. They made some little girls day when she came up to them covered in grass stains fresh from her junior league game, smiling for selfies and signing her cleats. They had walked along the boardwalk stopping at all the bright and alive shops, shopping and being young. They had spent the day like best friends, stumbling in Julies home at 1am and crashing out on the bed still laughing about this dude on rollerblades hitting on Julie.

But when Julie wakes up at 11am bright sun shining through her windows, and she turns to see her teammate wrapped in her dark grey sheets, friends is the last thing on her mind. Christens green eyes peer open catching the light, sparkling and Julie can literally see her thinking the same.

And they move towards each other at the same time and the whole thing is just languid and slow but it’s so fucking passionate, it almost feels fake. Like she’s watching it on one of her primetime TV shows instead of living it and she loves everything about that.

 

* * *

 

 **V. The time after that. It’s frantic** ( _as fuck_ )

It had been two weeks since their weekend at Julie’s place and she had decided to spend some time with her family especially since Christens sister was getting married which had made the girl completely un-available for the weekend. She had got a call a little while after that from Christen asking if she wanted to come down for the Clippers pre-season game with her and Julie agreed.

When she pulls up to a small but nice looking house she knocks on the door and hears Christens beloved dogs barking inside. The door opens and she’s instantly smothered in adorable puppy dogs, and the fact that this is literally what everyone thinks going over Christens house is like makes her laugh so hard.

“Khalessi! Morena! Leave her alone, come on go back inside and play!” The dogs scurry back inside racing each other and she’s still doubled over in laughter. “Sorry about that”

She’s wiping her eyes from the tears and as she lifts up to tell Chris its cool, her jaw literally drops. Chris is wearing a really tight V neck clippers shirt with “Lob City” stacked on the front of it, denim shorts, white high top chucks and a black grey bomber jacket over it. Her long hair spills over her shoulders with its usual perfection but it’s the backwards white Clippers snapback that’s really doing it for her.

Julie has never actually had a reason to label herself and if she’s going to, it’s safe to say she’s bisexual. So she’s never really had what she considers to be a really _gay_ moment in her opinion (never mind that she actually sleeps with girls) but she’s for sure having one right now.

Like a _super fucking gay_ moment, because if she doesn’t have tomboy-ish Christen screaming her name by the end of the night. Well then what’s the fucking point of living?

“So where are your parents? I was gonna say hi” She’s so transparent.

Christen smirks knowingly. “This is my place, my parents don’t live here”

“Oh.” and briefly Julie wonders how she affords this but then again unlike her, Christen has endorsements, her writing jobs, and it’s not discussed but she’s pretty sure Chris is one of the highest paid on the Red Stars if not _the_ highest so it’s not that farfetched when she thinks about it.

But the main point stands, that they’re alone and Julie already feels electrified by the thought. So she sits through the game only half in it because while she does really enjoy basketball and seeing Chris turn into a fangirl mess over Blake Griffin is awesome, she kind of really just wants to fuck this girls brains out. Being with Chris in public now though trips her out a bit, more than a couple of times some cute guys make their way over to ask for a pic and even though Chris is cool with it, her demeanor reminds JJ of how introverted and shy she actually is. It’s crazy to think this is the same girl who was just going down on her two weeks ago.

The guys leave and Christen settles right back into her seat, attention completely back on the game, watching Griffin like he’s the second coming of Jesus. And after that behind the back slam dunk he makes between 3 defenders, Julie sort of agrees.

After the game she has a sneaking suspicion that Chris is all too aware of the affect she’s having on Julie in this look and drags out the process of leaving the stadium and getting back to her place.

They pull into the garage and Julie only allows Christen to turn off the car before she’s dragging the girl to the backseat and shifting herself on top of her. It doesn’t matter that Christen looks at her like she’s mad because there is a perfectly good Queen bed inside the house but Julie needs to watch her come now, just like this with her stupid tomboy look perfectly intact. Also she’s always wanted to do it in a car so why not now. She’s grinding down on Christens leg through her jeans and she can feel the other girl do the same in those shorts and she really want to make the girl come like this. Her on top, in control, with Chris struggling and falling apart beneath her. She’s so beyond turned on and everything about this right now is so stimulating and salacious it’s sending her into overdrive. It doesn’t take too much longer before they’re both moaning so loud its echoing through the garage and when they finish they’re breathing excruciatingly hard because they just hump fucked in the back of an Audi like teenagers. The back console is digging into her thigh and Christens head is almost hitting the door frame, the whole thing physical and aggressive.

She can probably write a novel in the steam on the windows, and they’re definitely not done yet.

 

* * *

 

 **VI. The time after that. It’s Hot** ( _and delicious_ )

Because they had just made sundaes and Christen sprays whip cream on her neck, then licks it off, before keeping Julie bent over her counter, giving her a hickey at the top of her spine while she gets her off with three fingers.

 

* * *

 

**VII. Then after that. It’s wet**

When Julie sees Christen come out the shower wrapped in a towel. Her hair is slightly damped but air drying in the most gorgeous way and she’s reminded of how hot Chris looks with her more naturally thick curly hair. So she wastes no time tussling her fingers through it and essentially pushing Chris right back into the shower clothes be damned.

 

* * *

 

 **VIII. This time. Nothing happens** ( _because she’s tired to be honest_ )

She’s so wrecked.

Looking in the mirror, Julie sighs, she's starting to look abused. She’s got bite marks everywhere (Chris is a fucking vampire she swears), varying purple and red hickeys all over (more evidence!), she’s sore all through her body and honestly just a little over it. Lucky for her it’s full on fall/winter so she can cover up without looking suspicious. She never thought there would be a day, but here it is. It’s her fault though if she’s being real, since she initiates the sex 75% of the time, Christen just complies.

It’s been about 3 months since this whole thing started and more sex then anyone should probably have in that time frame but whatever. Julie has a slight hyperactive disorder, so she’s got energy to burn. Doesn’t really explain how Christens keeping up with her though. But don’t get her wrong, she _LOVES_ it and that’s not going to change, she’s just exhausted.

She’s at Christens house for probably the 6th weekend in a row, walks out of her room in baggy grey sweats and a slightly oversized tee. It’s Sunday and Chris is doing yoga in the living room, clad in yoga gear and a bun, Julie plops on the girls couch dramatically and just watches. There’s a comfortable silence between the two and it’s nice to know that sometimes they can just be together without being _together._

“You’re a biter you know that?” Chris falters in her pose a bit and looks up blushing. Julie snorts and pulls the side of her shirt revealing trails of indents and red dots from all their activities. Christen atleast has the decency to look apologetic.

“Sorry, about that. It’s kind of my thing” and Julie definitely noticed that, the more she let Chris nip and tug at her skin and lips, the harder the orgasm hit for the tan girl. It was just her weird turn on.

“It’s not a problem I just want to make sure you stay safe and keep away from things like garlic and blood banks, and don’t let strangers with long hair and crosses get to close to you” Christen glares at her before she finishes up her stretch and makes her way to the couch. She settles down laying backwards between Julies open legs, head resting on her stomach. Julies hand instantly rests on the girls hip lightly massaging, Chris grabs her phone to open Chromecast.

“Let’s binge watch Scandal today, they just put the new season up and I’m so behind” She’s already scrolling through her phone looking for said show and Julie just looks at her. She leans down and places a feather light kiss on the girl’s forehead.

“Sounds good”

And it’s while they’re laughing and gasping and deciding that they’re definitely team Jake and Olivia, does Julie realize that somewhere in all this she’s fallen in love with this girl.

 

* * *

 

 **IX. The next time. Nothing happens** ( _because she’s jealous_ , _and she hates it._ )

Christmas and New Year’s had come and go, which they had to spend away from each other. Christen was whisked away to New Orleans to spend the holidays with her dad’s side of the family and Julie road tripped with her parents back to Arizona. They didn’t get the chance to keep in that much contact beyond texts of “happy holidays”, “hope you’re having fun”, “happy New Year’s”. Her heart however leapt to her throat, warm and full with every message since the revelation she had made a few weeks back.

She had yet to say the three words to Christen though and was in turmoil over it. Only after coming to terms with the fact that she loved the girl, did Julie realize they never actually defined what they were? This entire thing had started as a hook-up for Julie and what? a stress reliever for Christen? She can feel her chest tightening as she recalls Christens need for “relief” to keep her from succumbing to her anxiety and feels sick to the stomach that maybe that’s all she is.

Friends with benefits, _convenient_.

It would make sense, they were almost always in the same city due to their club teams and off season homes. They were both into and trust each other, and most important they were friends, which meant it wouldn’t get awkward. But of course it always gets fucking awkward, because there’s always one who falls in love and makes everything complicated. She drew the _fucking_ short stick. She tries to think of any time that Christen showed her something special, some hint that she might be in it for more as well, but she’s drawing a blank.

There were times when Christen would do something sweet that would make Julie’s heart pound a little faster than necessary. The times she cooked for her or when she taught her how to skateboard (and of course Chris can skateboard, she took this Cali girl thing _so literally_ ), maybe it was something more when she brought Julie up to the Eaton canyon and they drunk angry orchids and just talked about their lives next to the waterfall. The problem is Christen is literally so nice and thoughtful that Julie can just as easily see her doing the same with Kelley, Vero, or Tobin and maybe she was looking too hard to find a spark in totally platonic events. Or maybe she’s sleeping with all of them who even knows anymore. She’s growing bitterer by the second and decides she’s done for the night and turns over for bed.

She won’t see Christen until there in Portugal for camp a few days later. They’re already qualified for the Olympics due to their status as World Champions but they still have a couple of matches to appear in. She’s excited to see her backline crew (and yes that includes Hope), but not so much to see Christen. The last few days were spent declining further and further into doubt and depression over the uncertainty of their relationship. She knows the mature thing to do is just talk to Christen about it and let the chips fall where they may, but clutching her Captain America pillow to her chest on the way to the airport, she decides maturity is over rated.

The team all converges at the airport and its nothing but hugs and good vibes, she’s so happy to be crushed in a swarming tackle from Ali and Kling, warmly greets Becky and Christie with tight hugs. Hope tries to pretend that she’s not _that_ happy to see her, but she does an awkward “I know you missed me” shimmy to Hope and the keeper has to grin because Julie is such a lame nerd.

She’s mingling with Ashlyn when she spots Christen and Kelley exit off the boarding gate, the two Stanford alums decided to fly together since Chris was practically next door in New Orleans while Kelley in Georgia. She’s upset that the first thing she notices is how good Christen looks in her Nike leggings and pullover, her hair in a neat pony. It makes it that much harder when she reminds herself of all the things she’s feeling.

Christen looks at her with a big smile and Julie just barely returns it before turning her attention elsewhere. She can practically feel Christens eyes still watching her but she doesn’t for long when the team starts to gradually say their hellos.

They board the bus to the hotel and Julie bee-lines for the back next to Hope and she might be risking certain death when both Hope and Carli look at her like she’s crazy. Julie turns to Hope with silent pleading in her eyes and she’s overwhelmingly thankful when Hope nods to Carli who takes the seat adjacent to theirs. Christen is looking down the aisle at her with what looks like concern and something else. Something that almost looks like hurt, but Julie can’t be sure if she’s just seeing what she wants to see. The older girl looks away when she’s tapped by Kelley to sit next to her. Hopes looking at her, with a raised eyebrow and all Julie can do is sigh and put on her Beats, closing the door on any questions.

When they get to the hotel they get their room assignments and just her luck that the one time she would rather not, she’s rooming with Christen. She notices that Kelley is rooming with Hope, and she waits until they’re out of the conference room and away from Jill when she corners Hope in the hallway.

“Why?”

Hope’s no bullshit tone cuts through her and she shrinks back a bit. “Because I just can’t right now” she sounds like a toddler.

“Is something going on between you two? And tell me the truth otherwise I don’t really see a reason to ask Kelley to switch with you, and another thing. Why didn’t you ask Kelley _herself_ to switch with you?”

“Hope.” Julie deflates crouching on her heels hands in her head before rising again and when she looks back at the keeper she sees, concern and understanding. Much like she did after her blunder in the semi-finals this summer (you know which one). “I promise I’ll tell you but I just need to figure some things out and I can’t do that with her literally right there in my space.” She’s borderline begging at this point.

“Hey! do not let whatever weirdness this is affect you on the pitch.” Her tone is serious.

“It won’t if you get Kelley to switch” and Julie knows she can do it. Hopes gotta certain seniority and command so Kelley will do as she’s told.

“Fine, wait here for 5 minutes then get your stuff and come to my room” Julie thanks her, but Hope brushes it off and goes to find Kelley.

She knows she’s only making things worse but she doesn’t feel like dealing with it right now.

Christen ignores her for the rest of the day and practice the next day. The girl has reverted to full on emo, introvert Press and she notices more than a couple of times Kelly shooting her a hard look, she keeps her head down feeling guilty.

The following day before the game the team decides they should all go out to lunch and enjoy a day in bright beautiful Portugal. They’re at this restaurant/café and the atmosphere with the team is so great she manages to enjoy herself and not think too hard about the fact that Christens on the other end of the table picking at her food, barely making small talk with Ali. Alex and Syd are gushing over something they both attended when she notices Alex stop and gasp softly, and tap Syd to look behind her. Julie follows the eye line and feels herself get the smallest bit excited, because Neymar Jr. just walked in the café. He walks up closer to the reception desk with his friend, before he notices the table, his face dawns with recognition but then shifts into something of a big smile.

“Christennnnn!”

That gets everyone’s attention and they all look back at the forward on the end of the table. Neymar’s thick Brazilian accent grabs Press’s attention and she scans for the voice til she finds it and she breaks into a similar, shyer smile. Neymar breezes past the reception desk, his friend in tow behind and zigs between tables before he gets to the girl. Christen barely gets out of her seat before Neymar has her in a full body hug lifting her slightly on her toes. Chris responds with a shy soft laugh and a long “hi” before turning to his friend.

“Rafi, how are you?” Julie only barely recognizes him, she thinks his name is Rafael or Rafinha either way he’s the new Brazilian kid on FC Barcelona this season. He doesn’t quite crush her like Neymar but the hug he gives her is still familiar. It’s obvious she’s spent time with both of them.

The rest of the team are being full blown nosy little shits at this point. Alex, Syd, Pinoe and Abby are whispering furiously between themselves and Kelley is watching next to Hope with a smirk on her face that makes Julie uncomfortable.

“How are you pretty girl” Rafi’s accent is equally as thick and captivating as Neymar’s and Christen blushes from it. Julies jaw clenches involuntarily and she looks back to the boy. He’s incredibly handsome, with his light stubble and fitted clothes same as Neymar. And if the three of them don’t look like a ridiculously gorgeous sunscreen ad somewhere in Puerto Rico she’ll be damned.

“We think, we should need to have fun again like in Vegas, no?” Neymar’s adorably choppy English grates on Julies ears but Christen laughs and nods her head.

“Yeaaaa” Rafi chimes in “festa noite e tentar não cair do teto” He leans forward and makes like he’s falling over before standing straight again and the three of them bust out laughing like it was the funniest thing ever said. So either Christen suddenly knows Portuguese or it’s an inside joke between the three of them. The way Neymar drapes his arm around Christens shoulders make her think the latter.

Everybody had seen the photo of the two of them in Vegas but Julie (and she suspects the rest of the team) had simply thought it was just a chance meeting of world soccer stars and thus the photo op. Apparently though it was much more, the way all three of them were acting around each other, especially those two, made Julies mind spiral. Had something actually happened between them? She was right all along, she was just another stress relief before the big game. She felt like she needed to throw up. The three chatted for a little while longer before they needed to go be seated to their table, they parted with a hug from Rafi and a slightly longer hug and kiss on the cheek from Neymar.

Christen is blushing slightly from the attention and all eyes are on her when she sits. Never the shy one Syd says the collective thought.

“So what’s that about.” She’s wiggling her eyebrows, Chris looks down ever the reserved one and shakes her head.

“Nothing, were just friends” Syd, Alex and the majority of the table look like they don’t believe her for a second but they let it go. They still tease her at various points of the lunch but it’s all in good fun.

Julies not having fun at all anymore.

The groups heading back to the hotel when she stops Kelley while Christens with Syd.

“Hey do you think we can switch back rooms?” Kelley looks at her hard. Like _really hard_ and its actually really scary, she has a couple inches on the girl but she feels about 2ft tall right now. She knows the girl is bursting to say something but she keeps her lips pressed in a dangerously thin line and hands her the key card, grabbing hers and stalking away. Julie lets out a breath she didn’t know she was holding and she wonders just what Chris has said concerning her. She looks at the key card in her hand, she’s not sure what she thinks she’s doing but knows that watching Neymar put his hands on Christen like he has a right to, affected her more than anything. She catches up to the team but is terrified once they reach the hotel. She’s not sure what’s going to happen when she walks in the room with Christen but she steels herself and pushes forward.

They reach the hallway and everybody breaks off to their room she watches Christen go in her room holding it open for Kelley but KO shakes her head and points to Hope. Christen shrugs and let the door close behind her with a click. Kelley turns around and looks her straight in the eye with a look that makes it clear that whatever is going on that she doesn’t know about, she’ll choose Christen in a heartbeat. She breaks their eye contact and hears Kelley continue down the hall.

She agonizes over this a few more minutes before she slips her key card in the door and enters.

“Kells your back quick, can you pass me the remote” Christen looks up from her bed and startles when she sees that it’s her and not her Best Friend.

It’s probably only a minute of silence but it feels like a lifetime passing between them. Christens voice cuts through the silence.

“What the hell’s going on with you?” It’s so rigid that it throws Julie for a loop and she’s instantly petulant.

“Nothing” she spits back low and angry.

“Bullshit!” she tries not to let the sudden swearing faze her, but it’s rare to hear the girl swear outside of sex. “Why did you switch rooms to be with Hope, and you’re ignoring me, you won’t even look at me” She can hear the crack in Christens voice and it bites at her chest.

“We had stuff to discuss about the backline” The excuse is crap even to her own ears.

“That’s a lie, I don’t understand why you’re being like this right now, did something happen over the Holidays did I miss something”

“Who knows Chris” she’s being downright rude and sarcastic now. “How about you go discuss it with Neymar over body shots, maybe he’ll come up with a theory or two while he’s taking your shirt off.” It’s a nasty and vicious low response and she sees Christen physically recoil from it.

“…are you Jealous? You think there’s something going on between us” Christens voice is surprised and disappointed but Julies much to buried in her own doubt and insecurities to stop herself from imploding.

Hurt them before they hurt you right?

“Jealous? Why would I be jealous Chris, we’re not even dating.” That’s the last shred of her feelings she can stand and she wants to run out this room and never look at the girl again because it hurts far too much. She’s turned and almost out the door when she hears Christen once more.

“What did I do?” and it’s so small and she can hear pain and it physically hurts her. It cuts her on top of a chaffing heart, leaving it raw and bleeding and Julie can’t help when the dam breaks.

“Nothing. That’s the problem! You did nothing, you stood by and let me fall in love with you and didn’t give me one reassurance that you could _ever_ feel the same. I don’t know what I am for you. What are we?! What is this?! Do you love me Christen, because I love you!” She powers towards Christen and puts all her doubts, passion, and love into a single kiss and it’s so much force it nearly knocks the two of them back. When she pulls back Christen is a frozen wall and there’s so many emotions running on the other girls face she can’t pinpoint any of them.

“Do you love me Chris?” its soft and simple and she just wants to hear the other girl say it back. Needs the other girl to say it back.

But the forwards still looking at her a mess of emotions and Julie walks away before her heart can shatter any more than it already has.

She leaves the room without a word, already crying powering down the hallway and she can hear Christen faintly through the door yell her name but she ignores it.

She knocks on Hope and Kelley’s door, and Kelley throws it open with a smile on her face until she sees Julie crying tears of running mascara. Hope sits up on her bed with absolute concern on her face. She expects Kelley to give her a dirty look or ask her what happened, but she simply looks at the girl with sympathy before moving past her towards Christens room. Hope grabs her and pulls her into a hug and she rides out the rest of the night with her head on Hope’s lap, while the keeper and mentor brushes her hand threw her hair gently, foregoing the urge to ask questions.

 

* * *

  


**X. What happens next** ( _well…_ )

They don’t speak, she barely notices her the next day at practice. The only interaction they have is the ball from her feet to Christens.

Hope is worried about her focus for the game, Kelley just looks worried for her and Christens trying to just look at her period but Julie’s not having it. Jokes on you Hope, she has never felt more focused on a game in her life (and it’s not even an important one). Practice is called and she goes straight to her room (with Hope) and when it’s dinner she sits at the table farthest from Christen and her only passing thought is that she’s thankful Chris doesn’t seem to try and force a encounter. If the rest of the team notices something odd about both their moods they make a pact to keep it to themselves.

When game time comes Julie is on fire, she’s making brilliant tackle after tackle and sure Hope berates her some for playing a little reckless but other than that she’s completely in the zone. Maybe she should play heartbroken more often because it’s really working for her. Surprisingly (very surprisingly) Christen is having one hell of a game herself. She’s playing far more aggressively than anybody has ever seen her play, her shots are on frame every attempt and the goal keeper is just trying to make it through this barrage. She finishes the game with a brace and assist ending with a 4-0 win against the Matildas. She’s simultaneously proud and pissed, proud because a brace and assist, but pissed because she shouldn’t have been having this good of a game. Was she even feeling a piece of what Julie was?

They’re all in a good mood, in the locker room. There is finally a really good vibe with the team and everything is gelling, hell Jill is even making really smart and calculated coaching calls and the demeanor going into Rio is definitely positive. Her personal problems aside she can’t wait to get her hands on another gold medal. She’s put on her sweats and jacket and walks into the hall for some fresh air while they wait for the buses. She jumps when a hand roughly grabs her and she’s getting yanked down the corridor. She recognizes the back of Christens form and is almost too stunned to say anything and really she’s barely keeping balance with the force of the girl pulling her. She’s practically shoved into an Empty bathroom and feels like she’s having Déjà vu. Christen smashes her lips to Julies hard and clashing, it practically hurts, her hands are gripping Julies face to hers tight. Christen pulls away with a pop and she’s just trying to catch up with what the fuck is happening.

“I love you.” Her ears are ringing and she’s still not all the way caught up with anything.

“What?” she breathes out.

“I. LOVE. YOU” Christen says it with absolute determination in her voice Julies forced to still herself.

“The only reason I didn’t say it the second you asked me, is because I was shocked that you thought there was any possibility that I didn’t love you back in the first place.”

Her hearts in her throat and she’s filling up with emotion already but she’s still not all the way focused clear. She tries to speak wants to, but cant. So Christen continues instead.

“I’m not using you. I’m not leading you on Julie. I have nothing going on with anyone but you. Not Neymar, not Rafi, not anyone. I need you J.” Christen steps closer to her. “You make me so happy, and you have since we first started this thing, and at the beginning I didn’t know what this would be or for how long but I was so glad it was happening. Every time I’m with you I feel calm and I know that everything will be fine. It doesn’t matter what we’re doing J. As long as I’m doing it with you I’m happy and it kills me to think that you didn’t see it, that I didn’t make it clear enough that _I love you_.

And Julie thinks this is probably where she should be crying and kissing, but like mostly crying, but she can’t. She’s so joyfully overwhelmed that Christen feels the same. So she starts laughing.

Small chuckles dissolving into gut busting laughter. And Christens rightfully looking at her a little vulnerable and a lot of crazy but she just can’t stop. Eventually she calms enough to look up at the girl through watery eyes.

“You know this whole thing started with me dragging you into a bathroom” Christen looks around for a sec before releasing her own exasperated chuckles. They were literally so connected at this point. Julie steps to the girl and kisses her lightly, and it’s a kiss so soft and loving she thinks she can feel Christens heart swell with hers. Christen lightly takes Julie’s bottom lip in hers and tugs, which makes her laugh.

“They’re probably waiting for us you fucking Vampire.”

Christen smiles bright and free at her and she feels weightless.

They didn’t have sex that night.

And that was perfectly okay.

 

* * *

 

 **XI. The next time it happens** ( _and it definitely happens_ )

She doesn’t really recall it.

All that matters is that it was with her.

**Author's Note:**

> Whewwww only 11,000 words later. Hope you liked it.
> 
> Sorry for any spelling or grammar errors, I usually write fic so late at night and even though I try to go back and clean it up I'm sure I miss a lot at 3 am lol 
> 
> Also if you are someone who reads my Christen/Alex story I am so sorry. Im really trying to re-discover the inspiration for that and it's killing me, but hopefully I can. Til then I'm sort of one-shot city when they come to me.


End file.
